A not so perfect night out
by Rufus J ShinRa1
Summary: The Classic Fanfic that started the sucessfull not so perfect series. Newlywed Cloud&Tifa go out for dinner but Rufus, Sephy and Hojo have the same plans for the same resturant.....


  
  
  
  
Not the best night out...By Rufus J Shin-Ra   
  
  
  
Hello folks!!! For a long time I have been a Cloud and Tifa fan of FFVII so from now on in my stories they are a newlywedded couple. [They are so cute together] Anyhow this is a story of when Cloud&Tifa go for a nice night out but Rufus,Sephiroth and Hpojo have plans for the same resturant...  
  
  
  
[Cloud&Tifa's Villa]  
  
  
Cloud: [Asleep] Zzzzzzzz hair gel....ZZzzzzzzzz  
  
Tifa: Wake up...  
  
Cloud: ZZzzzz....Shinra....must stop shinra.....  
  
Tifa: WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: [Wakes up] I'm AWAKE!!!! What time is it?   
  
Tifa: 8:00  
  
Cloud: Goodnight...  
  
Tifa: NO!  
  
Cloud: Fine.  
  
Tifa: I need to talk to you! COme on! [Grabs Cloud by the largest spike in his hair and drags him into the living room]  
  
  
[Shinra HQ]  
  
  
Heiddeger: [Looks over Rufus who is sleeping] Ummmm...President? It's time to wake up and wreak havoc in the world....  
  
Rufus: Zzzzzzzz...[Grabs onto Heiddeger while still asleep] Big large soft Teddy Bear...  
  
Heiddeger: No. No. Sir. It's me Col.Heiddeger head of thje Shinra army.  
  
Rufus: ....Big cuddley teddy bear...  
  
Heiddeger: PRESDIDENT!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!!  
  
Rufus: Ahhhh I'm awake!!! I have a card game with the other FFVII villans at 9:00!!!  
  
Heiddeger: Sir it's 8:00. You must be at Carl's diner to play cards in one hour.  
  
Rufus: Dammit!!! Prepare the chopper!!!  
  
  
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]  
  
Tifa: As I was saying we should have a night out.  
  
Cloud: Sure. Where?  
  
Tifa: Carl's diner.   
  
Backround Music: Dunnn dunnn dunnnn  
  
Tifa: Why did that disaster music start playing.  
  
Cloud: Dunno.  
  
  
  
[Carl's diner]  
  
  
Sephiroth: Where is Rufus? I have a new deck of poker cards.  
  
Hojo: What kind?   
  
Sephiroth: Girls of the internet deck.  
  
Hojo: OOOOOHHH!!!!! I'd go online with them any day. Oh by the way Sephiroth in disc 2 of Final Fantasy VII it is revealed that I'm your father.  
  
Sephiroth: [Draws Masamune blade] LIES!!!!! [Door opens] Oh it must be Rufus. [Lowers sword]  
  
[Cloud&Tifa enter]  
  
Sephiroth: Grrrrr....the hero's of the game. That couple....  
  
Hojo: Although those Jenova experiments I did on Cloud are memorible....  
  
Sephiroth: You're a real wacko pop.  
  
Hojo: Of course. I am a scientest. [Shinra solider comes in]  
  
Solider: President Rufus Shinra has arrived!!!  
  
Rufus: [Looks at Sephiroth and Hojo and shrugs] What a crew.  
  
Cloud: Another memorible Rufus quote.  
  
Rufus: Ahhhh it's you two! Oh well I'll just play my card game and ignore you....  
  
Sephiroth: Shuffle the deck.  
  
Rufus: Woah. A nudie deck.  
  
Tifa: You guy's are disquisting.  
  
Sephiroth: Did you hear somthing? I thought I heard the flower children calling. [Rufus and Hojo laugh.]  
  
Cloud: Hey don't ignore her!  
  
Rufus: Buzz off Spikearoonie. [Sephiroth and Hojo laugh]  
  
Cloud: Son of a bitch!   
  
Sephiroth&Hojo: Oooooohhhh......  
  
Rufus: [Get's up] What was that?  
  
Tifa: Get a clue! Let's just ignore each other.  
  
Cloud: So Tifa what do you want to talk about.  
  
Tifa: Is it to early to have children...I....  
  
Rufus: Get a room.  
  
Cloud: Shut up! At least I have made love to my wife! You probably look good but you're probably still a virgin!  
  
Rufus: I'm the President of Shin-Ra. The biggist nation on the planet. My good looks attract a lot of women.  
  
Cloud: But have you ever slept with someone you loved?  
  
Rufus: Love? Is that a new word? Never heard it.  
  
Cloud: I bet you can't get that girl's phone number over there!!!  
  
Rufus: Can too!!! [Walks over to girl and pulls out his shotgun] Give me your Phone number... [Girl writes it down and quickly hands it to him.]  
  
Sephiroth: Now shuffle.  
  
  
Rufus: Kay.  
  
Waiter: Somthing to drink?   
  
Cloud: Yeah champane for both of us.  
  
Waiter: [Goes to the villans table] And for you?  
  
Rufus: Three Vodka's.  
  
Waiter: Sure thing.  
  
Cloud: Tifa you sure look beautiful tonight in that blue evening dress I-[Hojo breaks wind] Goddammit what the hell is your problem?  
  
Hojo: Sorry force-of habit.  
  
Tifa: You sick bastard!  
  
Rufus: God open a window.  
  
Sephiroth: Ha ha! Royal straight flush! You all lose!  
  
Rufus: Hey let's get some girls and play strip Monopoly.  
  
Hojo: Yeah!!!  
  
Tifa: Sicko's.  
  
Sephiroth: Shaddup.  
  
Cloud: [Throws dinner clothes off and appears in his normal fight clothes] Prepare yourself.... [Tifa throws her dress of and appears in her normal clothes]  
  
Tifa: Winners strike first!  
  
Rufus: [Pulls out shotgun]  
  
Hojo: [Pulls out pistol]  
  
Sephiroth: [Pulls out Masamune]  
  
Cloud: [Draws buster sword]   
  
Tifa: [Raises fist]  
  
Cloud: GO!!!!! [They all clash]  
  
Tifa: Cloud behind you!!!!  
  
Cloud: [Kicks Hojo.]  
  
Rufus: I'll take care of you! [Jumps Cloud][  
  
Sephiroth: [Glares at Tifa] How about another scar...  
  
Tifa: How about a long nap. [Jump kicks Sephiroth]  
  
Sephiroth: Grrrr... [swings Masamune barely missing Tifa's head and hitting a vase]  
  
  
Rufus: [Aims shotgun but the vase hit's him on the head and he fires at the ceiling]  
  
Hojo: Stop this!!!! [Everyone stops] Come on guys let's go to Rufus's HQ and play there. [They leave]  
  
Cloud: [Kisses Tifa] We won we have the resturant to ourselves. [They raise thier champane bottles and start kissing again.]  
  
Tifa: When we get back home we are going straight to bed...  
  
Cloud: Yeah COPS is gonna be on.  
  
Tifa: No the otgher reason...  
  
Cloud: Oh....Heee heeee  
  
  
  
[Shinra HQ]  
  
Sephiroth: I win again! Strip monopoly rules! I own Rufus's trenchcoat!  
  
Rufus: Can I have it back?  
  
Sephiroth: No!  
  
  
The end  
  
  
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